If I hadn't seen such riches, I could live with being poor|
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|Tuesday, December 28th, 2010|
| Current Mood: geeky
|Monday, April 19th, 2010|
|Thursday, July 23rd, 2009|
|An overwhelming sense of numbness
Today was emotionally draining. My grandmother who had the stroke is never going home. The best we can hope for is that through a lot of physio, she may be able to hold her own head up, and maybe even feed herself someday.
Needless to say, she's going to a nursing home, and to pay for it, my aunts/uncles have to sell her house. This sucks, because if Kitchener housing costs weren't so incredibly unrealistic right now, I'd buy it in a second, even if just to keep it in the family (as it has been for over half a century). But as it is, you can't buy an apartment condo around here for much less than $180,000, nevermind a detached home. So a single person like me doesn't stand a chance for getting a mortgage to buy a house like hers.
So there is that. Then there is the matter of my grandmother's will. Since she's only going to have so much space in her room at the nursing home, the aunts/uncles have gone through the will to divide her belongings. She wanted everyone, including the grandkids, to have something of hers that was special to them, or that they've admired. My mom took me over to the house today for me to pick something and I couldn't help but feel sick. Everything was packed up and labeled in boxes, like she was already dead... and though she wanted it, I couldn't help but feel horrified at the mere thought of "taking" something and further reinforcing the reality of it all.
In other, less sucky news, I got another job today... actually, I was pretty much handed the damn thing on a silver platter. It's next door to a Marble Slab Creamery (ice cream shop) which concerns me a little, given my weakness to the stuff, so we'll see how that goes. Current Mood: sad
|Wednesday, June 17th, 2009|
My grandma (mom's side) had a huge stroke yesterday afternoon. Thankfully, my uncle was right there with her and was able to call 911 right away. It was in the right side of her brain, so she's still in there, but her body is broken. When I saw her, I barely recognized her, her face was dropping, eyes rolled in the back of her head, hair matted. This all on a woman who always looked her best, who doesn't even own "grubby" clothes. It knocked the wind out of me.
We don't know yet how much of her previous functionality will be recoverable, but everything changes from here. Whatever she does get back will be after a long and painful series of rehab. And if
she ever does go home, there will have to be major changes to her house.
The worst part? She was recently talking about how her mom had a stroke that did her in, and how she was worried about herself. So it's genetic.... Current Mood: sad
|Wednesday, June 3rd, 2009|
|Friday, May 1st, 2009|
|Monday, November 3rd, 2008|
|The good and bad...
First, the bad news. I came home Sunday night and found out that not 1, but 2 of my relatives died over the weekend.... my great aunt, and a second cousin. So the rest of the week will be filled with wakes and funerals.
The good news....
So, I have my job in the Childbirth department of Grand River Hospital. Not my idea of a fun department, but whatever. Twelve hour shifts, part time, unscheduled/on call... downside is that it's on a (renewable) contract that is up in January. I've had anything from 0-84 hours bi-weekly. Sweet deal when you consider that after you factor in lieu of benefits and such, I am making about $23-$24 an hour (and night shifts/weekends pay even more!). In addition, I have my Comcare job where I work at least 20 hours a week at their Ambulatory clinic, plus whatever other hours they can milk out of me (I usually end up with 35-40 hrs/wk, but have gone as high as 60hrs/wk). The pay is crappy, about $14/hr, but I enjoy working at the clinic and I get full benefits, so it's ok.
Then today happened. Because of an off topic conversation I had with Kerrie, I ended up applying, and today getting accepted for, a PERMANENT position in NICU (Neo-Natal Intensive Care Unit) @ Grand River Hospital. It's only 4 hour shifts, but they will be on a regular rotation, with the result being 28hours bi-weekly. PLUS, I get to keep my Childbirth position on a casual basis (and if they find I am still available enough, they've said that they will renew my contract in January).
So yeah, I now officially have 3 jobs...lol. To top it all off, my older sister is also working on getting me a 4th part time job at St Mary's working in the Emergency Dept. Current Mood: exhausted
|Tuesday, October 28th, 2008|
|Saturday, October 4th, 2008|
|I hate my car...
It was a sad realization today when I became uncontrollably excited upon hearing that my car was only going to cost me several hundred dollars to fix, as opposed to the several thousand I was anticipating when I dropped the hunk of shit off at the mechanics this afternoon.
For years I've dreaded driving along dark, wild life infested, highways out of paranoia of hitting a deer and wrecking my car. And now that I am out deliberately trolling the back roads hoping that one of the little bastards will run out and total my car, I can't find them anywhere. Go figure.
In other random news:
* Wednesday marked the 4 year anniversary of my uncle passing
* It's been almost 8 full calendar months since I quit smoking
* Next weekend I am going to Hottuberfest v2.0 Saturday evening, and then the SITD/Imperative Reaction show in Toronto on Sunday evening to do more interviews for the radio show (both of these of course, taking place after I put in a full days work starting at 7am... yippee)
* I've learned the hard way that laser hair removal is more painful/annoying than they let on, and topical anesthetic doesn't always work (especially on closed skin surfaces like your legs)
* I've done the unthinkable and bought not one, but two high-tech gadgets in the past few weeks... now I just have to figure out how to use them *grumble*
* I've gone and double (and in one case triple) booked myself with shifts during the last 2 weeks of October. If I survive until Halloween, I'll be surprised Current Mood: drained
|Thursday, September 11th, 2008|
After a rather disappointing encounter with the police a month or so back, I am pleased to say that my faith in the police has been restored. I was a victim to rather unpleasant event tonight that ended rather well thanks to the efforts of Waterloo Regional Police. I'm not going into details, because they aren't important. What is important is that my belief that not all police are steroid infested assholes, and that they (or at least some of them) are there to protect and serve, just like my uncle did, was validated.... and that's all that matters. Current Mood: relieved
|Wednesday, September 3rd, 2008|
You know it hasn't been the best day when the only words you can muster up sound like the lyrics to a CombiChrist song...
|Tuesday, September 2nd, 2008|
Went to EBMfest and it, on a whole, was ok. Enjoyable, but nothing overwhelming (unless you count the humidity inside the club)
One notable thing was Decoded Feedback's performance, or rather they keyboardist's adherence to "the show must go on" mentality. I guess the singer was sick and unable to perform, and rather than doing what Rotersand did last year and drop off the bill, she went on alone. And to be honest, she did a fantastic job, I think I prefer their music as just instrumental. She was the 2nd of the 4 main bands (aside from the local opener) to go on, and she got 2 maybe 3 encore requests (not sure if the first was an actual encore or it just took a few extra minutes to cue for the next track).
And I wasn't the only one who noticed and appreciated her efforts. A lot of people took the time to stop and talk to her after her performance, and each time I saw her and clasp her hands prayer style and bow slightly. When I approached her myself at the end of the night, she did the same and humbly thanked me for my support. Nice, a musician who takes the time to acknowledge and appreciate us little folk.
|Monday, August 11th, 2008|
|Yep, I'm still alive
Seems I've been a little neglectful in my updates lately *shrug*
Well, first of all, I should say that my radio show is staying on air. I gave my August 1st slot to the guy who's show was previously before mine since he didn't get to go into the new line up because he was "open format". The new time slot is from 8:30-10:30pm bi-weekly Fridays, with the next show being August 15th. The new website for online streaming is www.soundfm.ca I wanted to say thanks to those who took the time to send in emails of support, and special thanks to randwulf who's not only spread the word about the show, but has taken the initiative to record them for me too.
Second, the convertible is on the road, alive, but not entirely well. It does need a good amount of work and I've yet to decide what I am going to do about it. Part of me wants to fix it up and keep it going, but the rest says to junk it and move on.
Third, Sunday marked the 6 month anniversary of being a non-smoker. I still get the urge to kill, but its for completely different reasons now... =oP
Tomorrow I am going to Canada's Wonderland with Kerrie. I was half contemplating taking the 'almost week' I have off in 2 weeks and fleeing the country for a while, but I've decided to spend the money on a day of throw-up rides and a procedure that involves several sessions of getting zapped instead.
|Thursday, July 24th, 2008|
|So long, and thanks for all the shoes...
Unless CKMS decides to stop being douche-bags, I am out of there. They've offered me a slot to stay, but unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on how you look at it), I am not willing/able to sacrifice every Friday night of my life to do the radio show. Considering all the bullshit and apathy I've dealt with, I am certainly not
in the mood to further sacrifice my potential to pick up shifts at work and/or have a life over this.
I've sent CKMS an email suggesting a revision that will allow me to remain bi-weekly, but if they do not accept that, then I think I am going to tell them where they can go, and how they can get there. Current Mood: cranky
|Thursday, June 26th, 2008|
|108 in 9
Today I started my 108+ hours of work over the next 9 days (that doesn't account for the radio show which is in there too). Funny thing is, that I'm excited about it... not sure if that's because I'm subconsciously testing my stamina, or because I feel most alive when I am working myself to death....
Either way... it should be an interesting week. Current Mood: chipper
|Thursday, June 19th, 2008|
I started my hospital training this week, and it's been... well, interesting.
First of all, I thought I was going to be working in the pre-birth clinic... which is where the moderately pregnant women go to talk to the Public Health Nurse about to expect during their pregnancies. Where I am actually working is in the "Childbirth Program" which is more/less a fancy term for maternity ward. So yeah, I am surrounded by really pregnant women and no longer pregnant women with their newborn babies. Fun huh?
I was at least hoping that given nature of what takes place there, that I would be treated to some live action drama.... you know, broken waters in the hallway, stressed out women in wheelchairs doing the whole "hee-hee-hoo" breathing thing, blood curdling screams from the delivery rooms when the epidural hasn't kicked in yet... that sort of thing. But nope, not much of that either. I've heard one scream and had one woman wheeled in. The vast majority of patients wonder in and out with about as much enthusiasm as most people have when they go grocery shopping. If anything, my co-workers cause more of a ruckus than the patients do.
All in all, I think I am going to like it there. The 12 hour day shifts are a little long (I am hoping that the nights go by faster), and having a Tim Horton's in the lobby is going to make me go broke... but the job is interesting, the people are fantastic and the pay is great. Current Mood: content
|Friday, June 13th, 2008|
|The show must go on?
Further to my last post, I've done some thinking.. and what I have come up with is this.
Because the students of the University of Waterloo have voted to remove the $5 contribution made to CKMS from their student fees, the board of directors for CKMS has decided to completely restructure the programing and format of the station in hopes of winning back the student funding.
What that means is that they are axing most of the current shows and programmers to make way for more mainstream and accessible shows. HOWEVER, they are keeping genre specific shows nightly between the hours of 8pm and midnight.
Those of us with genre specific shows can apply to have their shows continued in the new program line up. I have contacted CKMS and the initial response is that because my show is one of the few out there for Industrial music, I stand a chance. Thing is, I will need to submit a demo and complete a form, likely providing a list of arguments for why my show should be allowed to continue on.
Now, before I go and do all this I want to know... is it worth it?
For over 2 years I have given every other Friday night of my life to bring music, interviews, local artists and event information etc to the "dark alternative" community. Not once during that time have I asked for anything in return... until now.
What I am asking is that you show your support for the show and give me some leverage in making a case to keep it going. We have a website http://www.geocities.com/strangerfrequencies/Main.html and at the bottom of the page, you will see a "contact us" link. Click it and send us (via Go-Boy) an email. It doesn't have to be fancy or long winded... just a short note will do.
The response, or lack there of, will be what I use to determine whether to fight to keep the show, or pack it up and call it a day... so don't be lazy here folks.
Keep in mind that I'm not only fighting for the show, but the time slot as well... the last thing I want is to have to move the show to Monday nights or something stupid like that.
|Thursday, June 12th, 2008|
|Tuesday, June 10th, 2008|
Today marks 4 calender months as a non smoker. I think it's safe to say at this point that I am at a low risk of ever turning back.
The weekend was a good one as always, even though I was in a fairly blah mood for most of it. I discovered that it is not that difficult to stay awake for 24 hours straight, which is a good thing, because I have a feeling I'll be doing it a lot over the next few months. What is difficult though, is trying to finally get to sleep afterward. After your second, third, fouth etc wind, it is pretty hard to unwind and relax enough to fall asleep.
After leaving Hamilton Sunday night I headed over to St Kitts to spend some time with razorbackhollow
. Went shopping Monday with _stick_figure_
for new shoes at the outlet store and then went for the lunch buffet at the Mandarin. Made my way home by dusk and proceeded to sit in a zombie like state until I eventually fell asleep.
Off now to pick up my schedule for next week from work and see how well they've managed to arrange my shifts around what I gave them for my hospital training *shudders* Current Mood: groggy
|Thursday, June 5th, 2008|
|I can have my cake and eat it too...if I could just find the time
Because of all the confusion surrounding this on-call thing with Grand River Hospital, and what looked like the early signs of a heart attack in my boss at ComCare when I told her I wouldn't be available every other weekend, I called Grand River to clear everything up.
As it turns out, I DO have to be available/on-call every other weekend, BUT I do not have to be available for both 12-hour shift blocks. i.e. I can be available Friday mornings, Saturday nights and either/both for Sunday... as long as I have some availability on all 3 "weekend" days I am ok. So that is good news because I can keep my 10-hour day shifts Saturday for ComCare and just be available for the night shift with the hospital. Mind you, that could mean I end up working 24hours straight, but that wouldn't be a first for me.
Now, to make matters more interesting, one of the coordinators resigned from ComCare this week as she got accepted to a Cardiology Tech program in Toronto. So a full time desk is open, and from what she told me, the nurses she deals with all want me to take it. I spoke to one nurse last night and she was pretty disappointed when I told her I wouldn't be applying for it because of this new thing with the hospital. That said, I know one other after hours person who is applying (she was in my program and graduated one mod ahead of me), and if she gets it (which I am sure she will) then I will be next in line for her shifts at the clinic (the place I get my 10-hour shifts on Saturday). So... if I can arrange to have both of her clinic shifts land on days I haven't promised to the hospital, I will be looking at 30+ hours with ComCare a week, plus whatever hours the hospital gives me...WHEEE!
Now... I just need to figure out when I'll have time to sleep..... Current Mood: busy